Had to share this one . . . goes with my sense of punniness

Winners of an annual New York Magazine contest were asked to take a well-known expression in a foreign language, change a single letter, and provide a definition for the new expression. Here are the winners:

RESPONDEZ S'IL VOUS PLAID
Honk if you're Scottish.

HARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS?
Can you drive a French motorcycle?

IDIOS AMIGOS
We're wild and crazy guys!

VENI, VIPI, VICI
I came, I'm a very important person, I conquered.

COGITO EGGO SUM
I think; therefore I am a waffle.

RIGOR MORRIS
The cat is dead.

QUE SERA SERF
Life is feudal.

LE ROI EST MORT. JIVE LE ROI
The king is dead. No kidding.

POSH MORTEM
Death styles of the rich and famous.

PRO BOZO PUBLICO
Support your local clown (or politician, your call)

MON AGE A TROIS
I am three years old.

FELIX NAVIDAD
Our cat has a boat.

HASTE CUISINE
Fast French food.

VENI, VISI, VICE
I came, I saw, I partied.

QUIP PRO QUO
A fast retort.

ALOHA OY
Love; greetings; farewell; from such a pain you should never know.

MAZEL TON
Tons of luck.

VISA LA FRANCE
Don't leave your chateau without it.

L'ETAT, C'EST MOO
I'm bossy around here.


CARNE DIEM
Seize the meat.

nails

wanted: fingers and toes
use: practice
result: loverliness
contact: Amy

wanted later: hair, faces, etc (cut, perm, and color models)

Of course . . . she is just learning. Meaning it takes a while to get it right.

HOLE-IN-ONE... There were three gentlemen playing a friendly game of golf: Moses, Jesus, and an older man. They all step up to the green with a small pond on the one side by the hole. Moses says to Jesus, 'Would you like to go first?' Jesus declined and so Moses put his golf ball on the tee, swung his club with a 'swish' and the ball went flying towards the pond. but the waters of the pond parted and the ball rolled safely onto the other side of the green. '

Good Job,' Jesus said as he patted Moses on the back. Jesus then turned to the older man and said, 'Would you like to go?' The older gentleman politely refused and Jesus placed his ball on the tee. He swung his club with a 'swish' and the ball went soaring towards the pond. As it touched the water it skipped across to the green on the other side. 'Good Job,' the older man said as he patted Jesus on the back.

Now it was the older man's turn. He gently leaned down and placed his ball on the tee. He swung his club with a swish and the ball went soaring over the pond and landed safely on the other side of the green. About this time a squirrel decided it was hungry, so it scampered over to the ball, picked it up, and ran off towards its tree. An eagle swooped out of the sky an flew off with the squirrel. A large thunderstorm rumbled in from the east and lightening struck the eagle, which dropped the squirrel. And as the squirrel landed on green the ball rolled out of its paws and into the hole, making it a hole-in-one. Jesus walked up to the older man and said, 'Good job, Dad.'

Little present people at the wedding were bored. So they started stacking small rocks on a big rock just outside the reception door. Husband saw them and asked them what they were doing.

"We are finding all the rocks that spiders pooed on and putting them here so people will be safe."

My husband, holding back his laugh, told them good job. Small grandniece showed a rock to a small grand nephew in law---"This one I think a spider peed on."

"Good work," said small grand nephew in law very seriously. He then put that one on the very top of the pile.

Husband couldn't stand it any more and came inside to tell us what was going on so we could share his laugh.

When we left, the large rock had at least 30 small rocks stacked on top of it, even though the small present people were inside. I wonder what they will think at church on Sunday?

Also, Groom's name? Nick or Nicolas. But his real first name, which he has NEVER used? Herbert. Prominently displayed, framed, with their engagement photo, was one present saying, "Congratulations HERB and Lynette!" Understand that half of us never met the groom before today. However, don't assume the groom has a particular nickname. Check first or giggle later.

My niece Lynette did make a beautiful bride. I was touched by seeing the quilt Bessie made for Marisa there. I'm glad it will be Lynette's now. Marisa made her presence known in more than one way today.